American Red, White & Blue
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out
section of forest. While assessing the damage done by a
forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet
suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and
facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not
from burns, but from massive internal injuries.
Dental records provided a positive identification.
Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad
diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was
revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a
diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest.
The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as
possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large
dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown
to the forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper
in the Pacific. The next he was doing the breaststroke in a
fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
(This article was taken from a California newspaper)
STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current she whacked him with the plank of
wood that held the door open, breaking his arm in two places.
Until that moment he had been happily listening to his
(From a Nevada newspaper)
JUST REMEMBER, IT COULD BE
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on
a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender"
stamped on it. Forgetting what it was, he opened it and was
blown to bits.
(From a French newsletter)
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife
was in the kitchen. The man was revving the engine on the
motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man,
still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the
glass patio doors along with the motorcycle and dumped onto
the floor inside the house.
The wife heard the crash and ran into the dining room and
found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding. The
motorcycle running next to him. The wife ran to the phone and
summoned the ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly busy street, the wife went
down the several flights of stairs to the curb to escort the
paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and
transported the man to the hospital, the wife up righted the
motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled
on the hardwood floor, the wife got some paper towels,
blotted up the petrol, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving
home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage
done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the
bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette.
After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs
into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the
kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming.
She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the
His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns
on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The
wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very
same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at
The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and
began carrying him to the ambulance. While they were going
down the stairs, one of the paramedics asked how he had
She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard,
one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the
husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his
arm, shoulder, both wrists and six ribs.
(From a Florida Newspaper.)
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