The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies
and goes to heaven. He is at the Pearly
Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed, and Forrest
approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is
certainly good to see you. We have heard a
lot about you. I must tell you, though,
that the place is filling up fast, and we have
been administering an entrance examination for
everyone. The test is short, but you have
to pass it before you can get into heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be
here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told
me about any entrance exam. I sure hope
that the test ain't too hard. Life was a
big enough test as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest,
but the test is only three questions...
First: What two days of the week begin with the
letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who
waves him up, and says, "Now that you have
had a chance to think the questions over, tell
me your answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one - which
two days in the week begins with the letter T?
Shucks, that one is easy. That
would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed,
"Forrest, that is not what I was thinking,
but you do have a point, and I guess I did not
specify, so I will give you credit for that
answer."
"How about the next one?" asked St.
Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one is harder," replied
Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that,
and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you
come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be
twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd..."
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter.
"I see where you are going with this, and I
see your point. Though that was not quite
what I had in mind, but I will have to give you
credit for that one, too. Let us go on
with the third and final question. Can you
tell me God's first name?"
"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's
Andy."
"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated
and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to
my first two questions, but just how in the
world did you come up with the name Andy as the
first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of
all," Forrest replied. "I
learnt it from the song...
Andy walks with me, Andy walks with me, Andy
tells me I am His own..."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said,
"Run, Forrest, run!!!"
Dear Lord,
Please give me a sense of
humor, and give me the ability to understand a
clean joke, to get some humor out of life, and
to pass it on to other folks.
Amen
