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It is
with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following
news:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of
the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died
yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from
repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was
buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth,
Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled
high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and
lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much
he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but
his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he
still was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model
for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough,
two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in
the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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